i cant believe theres a mother like her.. i went to sch in the morning yesterday to do my sch work.. she ask my lil brother to call me a few times and @5+ she call e and i say i havent finish my things i really have to finish it..

then she got angry..cause i told her on friday that i going out on sat to buy things to cook on sat.. but me and min decided to meet and do our pp together..and i tot..sch work r more important..as we need to hand in our draft by monday..so i went to sch..

last night finally finish the pp le..happy happy go home..see her black face..

then today..whole day she ignored me..then nvm..ask her wan eat anything i go out and buy..she aso ignored..then just now..she scold me..say wat friday say wan cook this and this then suddenly go to sch aso dont know is real ma..then i say i go sch do my sch work not to play or watever..then she say then u today cant come and ask wan to cook those food anot ar..then is like u whole day ignored me how i know u wan to cook.. like i can read ur mind like that or wat then she say u wan do ur things cant when u wednesday or friday got off day then go do ar keep on play game..YA I PLAY GAME BUT I STILL DO MY THINGS..then i got angry and bring my laptop in to her room and show her wat i did in sch..then she say you dont think i dun knw u today whole day playing game then i was like I FINISH MY THINGS then wat u wan me to do? stare @ the done project and then draw flower on it ar..the i say if u dun like me doing my sch things then i dun go sch la stay @ home and be a housewife..i really dont get wat she wan if she really hates me then use say so..then just ask me faster find a guy get married then get out of ur face then u will happy la

she say i dont care if u go to sch or not and all those things..

i really cant stand it le..really cant stand it..if she really hates me..if she really dont wan to see me..just say it..i could have disappear without anyhing..i could jump down the sea with a stone tied to my leg and drown and no one could even find me so she even dont have to pay for watever is needed after my death..

i could quit sch and find a job and save enough money to rent a room or flat out there somewhere and move out and then work and save more money to get myself a ticket or watever then fly over to another country and live or watever so that she wont get to see me ever again..

i really dont know..u say im lazy, dirty, messy, dont look like a gal, fat, ugly, ppl wont hire me cause the way i look, have no fashion taste, dress horribly, stupid, speak horrible english, have terrible handwriting, short and all those things that normal parents wont say to their kid u say it all..


i might not act like a gal..i might not dress like a gal..maybe im ugly..maybe im fat..maybe im lazy and dirty and messy..but i tried..i tried to wear dress and u say i cant sit nicely..i tried to wear skirt and u say i cant walk like a gal and ask me to wear a shorts inside my skirt..i tried to write nicely but no matter how nice i write u still say kor handwriting is better..im short i cant help it im born like this so wat IM SHORT thats a thing i cant change IM SHORT..i tried to study and u never praise me for doing good..i pass my O's and all i get is just pass? i from a F9 student and get a pass for every thing including maths and a C5 for english..im proud of myself..and all i get is 'just pass?' from u..

u always compare me with someone else..say she taller prettier know how to dress herself up..buy those nice bag and clothes..or say she been in better sec sch then me have better grade then me went to a better poly then me or went to jc and all those..so? wat u wan me to do? dress like her? wear thick make up like her? wear like a whore with mini skirt and lowcut shirt which didnt make a different if she dont wear it? buy those $200+ bag? wear all branded clothes? i tried my best in sch i tried to get watever u wanted out of me..i did the best i could..if u really like them so much..go ask them to be ur kid.

i wont stay on computer for so long if there is someone that will talk to me at home..i wont play games anymore if i could have the care and concern from my family that i wanted and needed..no matter how fake internet friends might be..no matter how much lies there is..i do feel their care..i do know they are there no matter wat happen..even if i had my worst day..i know they will be there to cheer me up..to stop me from crying..say stupid things just to make me smile..have a celebration in game just because its my birthday..even if i cant feel their hug..they will hug me everytime i needed it..they will stop watever they are doing and listen to me when i need someone to talk to..even if i dont know the name they told me is true or their gender is wat they say it is or where they live..it doesnt really matter..i could really feel that they care..they r real somewhere in the world..

i really dont know why..if some outsider that i never met before can care for me more then u do..then wat r u to me? money? ya maybe..i need u to pay my sch fees, my transport fees, my food and etc..maybe wat i am to u is a liabilities..thats y u hate me so much..

i dont wan to say anymore..it doesnt matter anymore..

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