May 29, 2006
yay...movie tonight with RO friends...bear and rac and wawa and me...we r going to watch xmen 3~
plan for tonite..meet at jurong point at 6pm..buy movie ticket...eat dinner...go movie and go home~~
yay so happy~
me go do work le =P
tok to u all lata ba~
YukiNoYume ♥
Monday, May 29, 2006
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May 15, 2006
the night is long and painful
slp dun come easily
wat am i supposed to do
cant find support at home
cant find enjoyment in sch
wat am i supposed to do
smiles are empty
the truth are lie
wat am i supposed to do
love become hate
depend no longer come
wat am i supposed to do
no more tears
time to be strong
do watever i can and give up watever i cant
be alone for a while
think about the future
no more asking wat im supposed to do
no one by my side
cant feel any warmth beside me
searching in the mist
for someone i can trust
im in a world of my own
looking for a door
dun worry about me
i will be back to normal
when i found the door and its key
YukiNoYume ♥
Monday, May 15, 2006
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May 11, 2006
wat urs is urs...wat not urs dun ask for more...
power money health friends..wat do u wan? everything is balance..when u have or wan something more..somethings will just go down or gone..
do u know wat u r doing now? do u know wat u wan now? do u understand wat WE want?
i feel like i dun know u anymore..i no longer feel free and happy around u..ur every movement scares me..ur every word i listen carefully..just to make sure that i would do anything wrong..
leadership camp might be really useful afterall..maybe it really helps..
where is the old us? where did it run to? when did it run away? i dun know..i cant find her too..
have u notice our change toward u? we are not ganging up to bully u to go against u..its just tt at one point of time..we might all felt the change in u..we r just changing to fit the new u..but it seems like everyone have change to the 'move and i will attack, tok and i will shoot back' mode..
im tired..really..no kidding u...very tired...emptiness inside me..do u understand tt feeling??
have something to say..but dun know how to put it in words...vexing feeling..like ants running around ur heart..
u r clever..have leadership..have the correct goal...but a wrong way to get to the goal..
im feeling calm..i dun know y..but i m..maybe i have give up totally..maybe i see a new hope..but the conclusion is clear..wat u do the nx step is going to change the future of RP judo..
well..i will sit and wait..im not very important in club anyway xD i can be replace very easily..so go on without me if have too..maybe u all can go a longer distance..
out of tt topic xD
my ro guild got a outing on sat but i dun know wan to go anot..uncle wawa also have a bbq on sat..i also dun know wan go anot..
but mostly i will not go for both xD...im a shy and unfriendly person xD
have ut tmr..so slping le..nite ppl...
YukiNoYume ♥
Thursday, May 11, 2006
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May 09, 2006
updating..
meet new friends in ro..met a 'se lang' uncle, a friendly bear, a hardworking didi, very pretty but 'scary' to 'se lang' uncle de meimei, a very young but mature 'da jie' and a caring Dark =]
i love online game, cause i can meet different ppl in a small small world...they teach me lots of things...uncle teach me not to give up...bear teach me love can give ppl hope to move on...'da jie' teach me that love can make ppl grow up [btw bear and 'da jie' are lovers xD in real life which met eachother online]...didi teach me that study is important but playing are important too xD [he can play and do his TYS at the same time and ask us qns when he dun know how to do xD really very hardworking]...meimei teach me that u can be kind and bad to someone very easily and no need feel bad about it =x...and Dark teach me how to care and share and help those who can be help...
gd friends that i have never see in real life...but i felt great to know them...im not very happy this few days...but everytime i see them online in game or msn...im happy..they can make me forget all those things im thinking...they can help me get rid of those stupid idea that have been bugging me...i dun think that know how much they have help me this few days...but i still want to thanks them...
wawa...bear..rac...cleric...eli...dark...thanks for everything =]
i think i lost my way again...just when i tot i could follow this way...the mist started to come right up again...i cant see my way again...im lost...the road is dark..without any light..im searching the way every night...the angels and devil are fighting again...but this time...the line between them become very blured...i dun know who is devil and who is angel...what am i going to do this time...am i going to have a answer this time? a clear and unchangeable answer...yes or no and thats final...
the sun set the moon fail to rise and the star had gone hidding...where is the light i should follow?
my body is back to normal...or was it just getting worse...
'im disappointed' 'wat r u doing' and etc..im sick of hearing it...
grade are bad skills are bad..no energy to do thing every tue and thus..both mind and body are drained..
i cant find tt fire anymore..its gone and will never come back...im not doing better..and body is getting weaker..
putting myself in other ppl shoes..but found tt i dun fit their shoes and i dun understand wat they feeling...maybe im just someone like this..
im scare of saying wat i feel..im even scare of toking..im scare of the quietness in the air..im scare of making a joke..im scare of laughing at a joke..
im scare of going for lunch in a group..im scare of making new friends..
im scare of me becoming like this..
im scare of me turning back to wat i once was..
tears come easily at night..stone easier at day..doing worksheet until wan to die..solving problem statement until i cant do anything else..tried my best..but not getting the result..fac not seeing the effort and life getting harder..
cant slp at night...once slp cant wake up on time..
angel is saying 'how i hope slp can come easily'
devil is saying 'how i hope i can slp and never wake up again'
fighting on fighting on...
where is the person who can stand by me and look after me?
im not alone..im not alone..something that i keep on telling myself..but never really believe in it..
i depend on ppl to much le...i dun wan to make my problem others problem anymore..
this is also not a problem others can solve for me...
mel thanks for everything xD love u lots..u listen to me complaining without complain =x muackx love u dear..hope ur problem can be solve too =]
ning..u should take care of urself more..really..when u r hurt..dun go on with the training..pushing urself too much is not going to make u better..it will just break ur body slowly..
siti dj ms bro ber and everyone else that i miss..sorry that i cant go out with u all so offen..sorry that i always say wan go in the end never go..sorry that i always late..sorry that i always love to 'bully' u all..and thanks for everything too =D love u guys lots lots lots
to myself..
alway think that u have solve the problem..but the truth is u never did..u just make a answer to run away from the qns..u never trust urself..maybe just learn to trust urself once..spend more time on gd rj..like how u write for culture rj..give onli the best..dun complain anymore..complain dun bring u far..its just going to sink u more..walk one day see one day plan is not going to work anymore..time to plan far and work for it..and mean it..bookworm time have come..with fear of phy u r not going to pass ur modules..learn and ask..dun think of how much u didnt do..remember wat u have done and understand is more important..have some quiet time with urself more..understand urself 1st then start trying to understand other..well..tts all..
nite ppl..slp well...
YukiNoYume ♥
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
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