masquerade; paper faces on parade

January 12, 2010
Facade..

sometimes its really tiring to keep up a facade..how many people can really be themselves without having any mask to hide the real them up?

sometimes..i really love to be alone..like now..the world is finally quiet..and alone in my room, i dont need to fake, to hide myself, to wear a mask anymore..i can laugh when i wan to, cry when i wan to, get angry when i wan to..

i guess working life really drains my energy away..having to deal with people that dont think of others, that thinks that they are always right, that thinks that whoever dont mix with them, are the one in wrong..i have enough of these aunties cat fights..my friend told me..i have to forgive them then i can move on, i have to bear with their brainless act and show them with kindness so that they will start to understand what im doing..but i guess, im just not that great person after all..

after a while, i will find that..we are not the strawberries that they think we are..it just that we see no point why we have to stress other people in order to get things done.. we are not all soft and lazy and easy to break..it just that older people are so not flexible and unable to think out of the box and dont understand why we younger people are acting this way, so they are trying to give us pressure to give us stress and trying to make US like THEM..

i guess it time for me to take a break again, to leave this place with all this old fashion people and wish them all the best with this company and hope they will stay long long long long..

i guess i just havent find a place for me yet..theres no place for me anywhere..in family..in company..with friends..im just forgettable, replaceable and not that important anyway..

ah..ah..i sound so emo, but im fine i guess..tmr i will still be joking around, fooling around, playing around, i will still laugh and smile and go crazy like all other days..

sometimes, i just wan to be alone, but sometimes i hope and wish that whenever i feel lonely, feel sad, feel emotional..theres someone to call and talk to..but i know that i wont call anyway..

telling people that im sad is something that i really wont do when im STILL feeling sad.. uncontrollable sad.. once i got my feeling under control, i might call someone, but mostly i will just slp..

pride of leo, moodiness of cancer i guess..or maybe it just monday blue..maybe im just not feeling well for the past few days..

"Dont be so quick to judge me, you only see what i choose to show" was and still is my fav quote..

judging people is easy, to know someone is difficult, what you think you know, doesnt make that is the truth..hopefully one day, those aunties can understand this..

oh well..i shall not continue typing and make myself more emo then needed..

waiting for the stupid photos to be burn (hopefully it will success this time) but i guess not much hope..so im off to bed

au revoir

YukiNoYume ♥ Tuesday, January 12, 2010 link to post