March 06, 2006
Facing Fears
As she gazes at the immensely high tower,
And feels the sprinkles of the powerful stream.
She gently tiptoes toward the aquamarine shower,
Smiling at the radiant dream.
While the water releases her of her fears,
Flashbacks possess her mind of her disgraceful life.
So, she dives into the flowing river to cleanse her tears,
Letting the rainbow of peace replace her strife.
The falling water carries her away,
On a raft of misty clouds.
And places her on the pillowed earth to lay,
Waves leaving her in reverent bows.
As she was slowly awakening,
While staring blankly at the scenery.
Her memory was slowly weakening,
Wondering if it was just a reverie.
Now her soul is free of fright,
And clouds open up the Heaven's above.
By covering her face with spiritual light,
Feeling the warmth of love.
With a majestic spell in her eyes,
Instead of tears to pour.
Not only can you see her fly,
But, in all her grace, watch her soar.
by Someone in deviantART [I forget to save the name of writer...so sorry]
hope i can be the same as this girl in this poem...facing her fears and be stronger...
i look at my past post haha...found out that this few days im not in a very good mood...but now...i think everything will start to be better [i hope] but watever happen, everything will be fine in the end...
i fall sick...flu is coming on and off...
i have to go on...i cant stop here...move on...walk on...fight on...until the day i cant move anymore...onli on that day can i stop...rest...
ah ah...here i go again...
hmm..for this long holiday...i think i will spend time on going to talks or wat to earn points...then spend time to go gym IF ning and huixin still remember to call me =P then spend time with family...do some housework here and there...ya...and clean up my room..really CLEAN it up...throw watever i dun need and pack watever i dun use often...
ahah...mum is angry with me again...
i really dun understand her...why everytime when i really wan to start to study...she have to stop me from going just because she wan to go for a holiday...
i know she need to holiday...but why cant she understand that i have to study too?
i tried to tell her that our sch need us to get 40 points...and tmr have a talk which i could at least get 4 DA points...but she dun understand...she said tmr we [me and my younger bro] have to go to ica there and renew our passport...
why cant she understand that i WANT to pass my study...i dun need to travel...im fine with staying in singapore...i tell her everytime that she can just bring my stupid brother go and go with my dad...but she dun wan to...she wan someone to look after her stupid son...and everytime that person is ME!
and because of tt reason...she tell me, "if u dun wan to go, u stay in singapore with your didi and your dad and i will go and enjoy ourselves. if u wan to go, u look after your didi there, and your dad and i WILL STILL GO AND ENJOY ourselves..."
so wat is the different of me going or not going?
just the place that i stay and look after HER STUPID SON!
and everytime she say until we beg her to bring us go somewhere to travel...
my task is always look after ppl...
hongkong...i spend most of my time look after my grandma, small kid, bags, and stay at hotel, share a bed with my mum and didi or my grandma and meimei or WITH MY KOR KOR or even slp on the floor/sofa if there are too many ppl...
shanghai...i spend time look after my grandma again, take care of small kid again...look at bags again...stay at hotel again...and the same thing of sharing bed or slp on floor/sofa...
its always me and my kor kor who will slp on the sofa or the floor, always me who need to stay back and look after the old and young when other happily go shopping, always us who will take the worse room, and carry other ppl things BECAUSE they are too heavy for theor kids to carry...its always my kor kor or didi that will get good gift and watever they want...
tt time when we went to hk, my kor got 3 bags from my auntie and all, and many more things that i dun even know...just because he like it and my aunties buy it for him...and they say it because my kor is in the army and he dun have much money...
and wat do i get from them? nothing...i buy watever i like myself...with my own pocket money... was my pocket money more that wat my kor kor got? i dun think so...
ya...i got a mp3 from one of my auntie...but that mp3 at 1st was for my didi...my mum pass it to me because my did dun know how to use it...x'mas present from one of my auntie was a free gift from a shop after she buy my kor's shirt...the auntie which give my didi the mp3 give me a ear ring which was a gift from her friends, and a bear handphone holder which was something i dun use and i dun think she really buy this for me cause she know my handphone at tt time can fix into it...
ah ah...life is never fair...it never was and never will...but wat comes around goes around...im sure...
wat i never think much in the past keep on coming back to me...and everytime i think about it... maybe being a guy will make me much more happy that im now...i think of everything tt have happen to me since young...and think of the palm reading that i have done in so many different site and read from books...how true they are to say that i dun have a happy childhood...
sometime i wonder...do i have a childhood at all?
but still...always look at the bright side...
at least my parents will not beat me up everytime they are unhappy...
at least i can study...
at least i have food to eat...
at least i have place to stay...
at least i have a room of my own...
since life is not fair...i just have to live with it...
maybe one day i might wake up and i will find that all this is just a long, sad/happy dream...
im quite emotional this few days...tears come easily...i didnt wan it to drop freely...but it did...
my vision is blur...i cant see wat im typing clearly.
maybe im just tired...
after a good night slp...everything will be fine again...everything will be...
My tears drop
Like the sky that cried...
My eyes turned red
Like the sky at sunrise...
My vision blurred
Like the road in mist...
My hand turned cold
Like the winter wind...
My body shivers
Like kitty in the rain...
My face paled
Like the rose of white...
My mind is blank
Like the paper untouched by others...
My eyelids are heavy
Like the sumo wrestler weight...
I lie down
Like files on desk...
I rest
Like babies having naps...
I dream of being free
Like birds in cages...
by YukiNoYume...
YukiNoYume ♥
Monday, March 06, 2006
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