December 13, 2005
sometimes i really dun know wat i wan and who i am...its a feeling of lost...
i am really confuse on who i am...is it onli me or wat...but really...i am really lost on who i really am...
Who am i? is this the things that i really feel like doing? is this what i really felt now? is this the way i talk? is this the way i do things? is this the way i treat ppl?
i really dun know...i feel like maybe all this is just my mask...maybe this is a mask which i use too long...maybe i have lost myself long time ago...and watever i do is just me wearing a mask and do wat the mask has to do...
i have been losing my dear sleeping time...i can stay up the whole night reading a book...i can stay up the whole night looking at one web and another...i can stay up the whole night thinking of who i really am...
maybe i'm just thinking too much but...i know i have change...i have change a lot...some changes i welcome it...some i really dun know is it good or bad...
did anyone notice it? did anyone notice that i am not the same person u all met long time ago? i dun know...to me..a mask is always there when i talk to u all...a mask that come out without my permission...am i still the same old me? or have i change?
did i still laugh when i am sad? did i still make u ppl happy when i am not? did i still hug many of u for reason no one will know? did i grow up? or am i still that childish? i hope i have change...i hope i can cry when i'm sad...i hope can be gloomy when something bad really happen...i hope that i can end the reason of y i like to hug ppl...i hope that i have become mature...
i know ppl will ask me not to change...but maybe u all will like the modified one better...
i alway hear ppl saying, ' you dun understand me at all' maybe this is true for ppl who know me...but who can blame u all when i dun even understand myself...
i hate sweet stuff but i love to eat sweets...i hate chocolate but sometime i love white chocolate with nuts...i dun like anything with chinese herbs but i like black chicken herbs soup...i hate spicy food but i like curry chicken...i hate cold places but cant stand warm places...i hate techno songs but have tons of it on my lappy...i dislike messy places but my whole room is in a mess...
haiz...really dun know wat i wan...i am really a very mix up person...maybe this is my personality...everything mix up together and form a special me...and my personality change real fast...who knows? i am just purely weird...
maybe having 2 horoscope might really cause me to be very weird? haha...one water one fire one moon one sun one introvert one extrovert one like to follow one like to lead...well...to cut everything short...they are totally DIFFERENT....haiz...maybe i just totally think too much le...going to force myself to slp..night ppl..
YukiNoYume ♥
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
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