November 25, 2005
so many things that i know...so many feeling around...so many sadness...so many things...so many that everyone cant handle it...so many...too many...too heavy to bear...too hard to forget...
but life still must go on...our road is still long...we need to be strong...to be happy...to contiune to walk on...jia you jia you! i will also be behide u all...cheering u..
dun know why...but around me that are sad people...i know they are sad...i know they are smiling but crying behide their smile...but i dun know wat to do...i did not do anything...i cant do anything for them... i felt really sad for them...for myself...i dun know...maybe i am useless...i cant help anyone...the only thing i can do is not to make them more worry then they are right now...tried to make them happy...but i found out then i cant...how to make someone happy when u r sad... dun know why...but i am listening to JJ songs...the more i listen the more i feel sad...the more i feel like crying...cry for them...cry for myself...cry for everything...
never know how much it hurts...how much they have take...how much they fight alone...how many nights they have spend without sleep...how long have they feel this weight on them...how much they have keep to themselves...i have no rights to say them...because i know...i am one of them before...smile when feel like crying...laugh when feel like screaming...hug when need to feel warm...hold on people when need comfort...but will never tell people what really happen...no one really know what they r hiding behide their smiles, their laugh, their eyes...
its hard to cry when u are feeling sad in front of friends cause u dun wan them to be worried... but its harder to smile when u r sad and it will make ur friends more worried...
we all need a break...need to take a rest...need to be alone...need our own space...need our own time...need to forget everything...need to solve everything...
i might be gone for a while...not really gone...but i will be very hard to find for a few days...i need to think about somethings....i need to solve some problems that i have been avoiding...its time to face them...its time for a war to start...a war between me and myself...something really need to be solve...
watever it is...i pray to all the gods, deity, goddness and natural spirit to protect all of my friends, make them stronger, let them solve watever is bothering them, let them smile happily, let them contiune to walk down this road of life strongly and happily and smoothly...
so go on...dun be sad anymore...watever happens...we will get over it and we will grow up...be stronger...able to face it and fight it...and we will WIN it...
YukiNoYume ♥
Friday, November 25, 2005
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